Clackamas "bodily fluids" incident

One of the lead stories on tonight's Portland news is this dude, who got caught jizzin' on the leg of a fellow shopper at the Clackamas Promenade Target. This was the top story on channel 12.
My favorite version of the story comes from KGW, with this little gem, "Surveillance photos showed he somehow ejaculated on the 31-year-old victim then left the store, according to investigators."