Pink

Some pictures from thursday night. Just now getting around to doing anything with them. More at the flickr set.

Desperately trying not to become a youtube link dumpster

But this is too funny to pass up.
Australian TV host hits on and feels up Fred Phelps.
"You're a fag-ass pervert. Step off!"

Learn English Commercial

I know I've seen this before, but I'm not sure where. You Tube link, NSFW.

What it Means to be a Hoosier

I just stumbled onto this blog randomly tonight.
Spot fucking on.

Excerpt from Shae's Place

"I'm going to make a call," I'd tell Mom. "Is it long distance?" she'd ask. "Don't stay on there longer than a minute. Say what you need to say and get off there."

"But I have things to say. Here, here's five dollars; at your 7.5-cents-a-minute rate that's more than enough for my call."

"No, I don't want your five dollars. I just don't want you to stay on there long." Mom would say. You see, it isn't the five dollars, or the fact that she has to spend it. It's that the money, no matter where it comes from, is ill-spent. Hoosiers can't stand that.

"But I need to make a call, and I'm willing to pay for it," I would say. "Here's ten dollars."

"No, I don't want your ten dollars. I just don't want you to stay on there long."

Hot

Thank you, Victorian carpenters, for four inch thick walls. With careful opening and closing of the windows at the right times, it is possible to keep our apartment comfortable. The only direct sunlight is in the morning, after noon it stays shaded until sunset. The building is 106 years old and seems to have had some insulation pumped into the thick ass exterior walls.
There will be no cooking. We have a pizza slice shop just up the street, that will do. Don't heat anything up... It could be worse. I could be in St. L. That's a city you usually just want to avoid in the summer, notoriously more oppressive than the rest of the "Brain Sandwich Belt" in the summertime. That's just south of the "Pork Tenderloin Sandwich Belt," where I come from.
I understand why the National Guard is dispatched into St. Louis tonight with half the city without even a fan in the window.
KGW even describes it as "The Misery in Missouri." Wow, where'd they come up with that one?

Kinnear in the 'hood!

"The Feast of Love" is getting ready to start filming in Portland. The Fresh Pot on Mississippi will be the main location as the cafe owned by Greg Kinnear's character, with Morgan Freeman as the wise old customer. The folks making this flick have been by my place of employment as well, scouting out a spot for a "fortune teller's shop," in our weird side room.
I don't make it there as much as I used to now that I live closer to Tinys, but the Fresh Pot used to be my "go get a cup of coffee in my boxers" coffee shop when I lived around the corner from it. I love the place manily for the coffee--Stumptown beans brewed almost perfectly every time with no attitude, and they even brew the Yirgacheffe sometimes. I hope they make bank off this movie, they deserve it.

Photo from ""Portland Ground: Pictures of Portland Oregon - Used under Creative Commons License"
Thanks!

Alarming

"Better Than Nothin'"


















I'm feel kinda funny about it, but I found something at Maxim magazine that I can't stop looking at. Found Porn.
So immature, so many "tee-hee's."

Portland Beer Mapping Project

Every place to sample the local brew. No reviews, just an interactive map.

Free music of the live variety

PDX Pop Now happens the weekend of Aug 5th (Or July 28, there seems to be conflicting info) at Loveland, (down by produce row). It might be crowded and all-ages, but its FREE! I'd especially like to see The Planet The on Sunday night, somehow I've never seen them live.
Before the actual festival is another FREE show put on by PDX Pop Now in collaboration with City Hall. Wed July 19th in front of City Hall 5:30pm is Quasi and The Minders.

About the show, from Comissioner Sam.

Packard Jennings

This small, sixteen-page pamphlet is produced to put inside the postage-paid, business-reply envelopes that come with junk mail offers. Every envelope collected is stuffed with the pamphlet and mailed back to its original company.

Turf War?

Since Nosmot andOregarus took a little mosey around my hood, I thought I'd head out to SE.




Pallets and phalluses?




I had to check out that scary ass pedestrian bridge while I was down there. I'm not sure what was scarier, the swaying in the wind or the sagging and groaning of the railroad ties the thing is built of.


As I pussied my way across it for the second time, carefully stepping and trying not to grab onto the rail that wobbles, a dude comes by riding his bike across this thing like he does it everyday. Damn.

Rose City Rollers

After a rocky beginning Saturday evening, we finally made it into the bleachers of the High Rollers thanks to a friend who caught us as we were on our way out the door.
First strike, Tri-Met. We did everything right, checked the Transit Tracker, got to the Max station about five minutes early, and then waited, patiently listening to that weird robotic voice counting down "Max Yellow Line to Expo, two minutes." Then a minute later it was back to ten minutes. WTF? We finally get on the packed, late train and make it to the Expo center as the roller derby is starting. It is completely packed with the "Event Staff" barking at us not to stand in the only place there is to stand, sending us to the other side of the arena, where another equally rude yellow shirt yells at us to go somewhere else, "go up to the bleachers and tell someone to scoot their ass over," was the command that prompted us to walk out and start looking for a refund. Luckily, that's when our friend and savior M caught us and led us up to sit with her friends in the "High Rollers" section where everyone was psyched and happy. The energy was contagious.
After the initial shitty moments were over, it was a blast! High energy from everyone in the place, the skaters, the spectators, everything was a lot of fun. My only real complaint, (perhaps I just notice more due to my latest bout with poverty) is the prices. I feel like a "get off my lawn" old man, but damn! For something so homegrown and cool, it really is pricey. $15 to get in, and then the real clencher, $5 PBR! Why can't you make them $3 and sell a whole lot more? Or sell some actual homegrown Oregon beer. I'd pay $7 for an IPA or two. You could really pick out the alcoholics and trustifarians in the crowd, who the fuck else is gonna pay $5 for PBR? All ya'll know that I loves me some beer, but even I stayed on the wagon that night. I'd recommend the next bout in August though, just remember to get good and sauced before you go.
Rose City Rollers

And now for a moment of internet history...

I watched the newest Hasselhoff video this morning and realized that it just wasn't that funny now that he's in on the joke.
Somehow this lead me to stumble upon a long forgotten (at least for me) chunk of video that is an important part of what the net is and should always be. Somehwere post Hampsterdance, pre-Star Wars Kid, there was Hyakugojyuuichi!!!



And a little something to get that Pokemon song out of your head...

Ok, and while we're on a video post, you might as well watch my favorite opening credit sequence ever.
Everything about it, the colors, that jerky quick zoom into Jack Lord on top of the hotel, the freeze frame on the hula girl's hips. Its like MTV before the people who created it were even born.

"We need to go to Tennessee to pick up some fireworks, and someone owes me money in Kentucky."

Tom Waits tours, and almost all the shows are within day's drive of down home...
Atlanta, Asheville, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville, Chicago, Detroit, Cuyahoga Falls, Milwaukee...
If I still lived back home and had vacation days and a little disposible income I'd be all over this shit. Since none of the above apply to me right now, all ya'll in Indiana (or anywhere where you understand what "all ya'll" means,) should at least make it to Louisville or Chicago.
Some day he'll manage to hit Portland, and hopefully play at some place like the Wonder Ballroom or the Doug Fir where it won't cost $40, like a show at the Schnitz

Katamari?

All I ever wanted

Damn, what a long week. I always forget how much work it is to entertain, even for an old friend who doesn't expect too much other than a place to sleep and a trip to the coast. It was a partial vacation for me, ending in a four-day weekend, much needed for sure.
I learned a lot this week as well. I discovered that the "nude beach" at Rooster Rock is really more of a "nude hiking" area full of dirty old men (we never did find a "beach") and that Collins Beach on Sauvie Island is by far the best place to go do a little nekkid swimming. I learned that google maps is especially full of shit when it comes to driving directions and shouldn't be trusted. We also learned that the Oregon coast should be avoided on the 4th of July weekend. OK, so I already knew that one, but we had to go since my normally land-locked friend was in town.













That's Astoria, my favorite coastal town. Even though there's really not any sandy beaches, it just has a cool feel to it. It would be a great place to live if there were more jobs and something to do other than drink.





GOONIES HOUSE! Fuckin A! I couldn't resist, I had to trudge up their driveway and do my own Truffle Shuffle while my friends waited in the car.








And here's the school where the gubernator wrangled those hilarious kindergartners. That was a great one.